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If you combine reading this hi-larious script with a flip through an oily Brad Pitt photo shoot from [throw rock, hit any current title] Magazine, it'll be like watching Troy--only 2.5 hours shorter*, $10.25 cheaper, and ten times funnier:

Beach of Troy, The Next Day

PRIAM: Woot! The Greeks have left! And look! They left such a nice big horsie, too!

PROPHET: Itís an offering to Poseidon for a safe journey home.

PARIS: I say we burn it.

PROPHET: Son, youíve been an idiot and a coward this whole movie. Weíre not about to start listening to you now.

PRIAM: Besides, the Greeks couldnít possibly have an ulterior motive for leaving a giant horse big enough to hide a couple dozen soldiers! Letís bring it back to the city!

Inside the City of Troy

PEOPLE OF TROY: Paaaaaaartay!

PARIS: *mopes*

PEOPLE OF TROY: *get bombed and fall asleep in the gutter*

The Greeks climb out of the horse, affording the ladies in the audience a spectacular view.

WOMEN IN AUDIENCE: *wolf whistle SQUEEEE throw dollar bills at screen*

The Greeks kill all the tanked guards and let the rest of the army in. They set the city on fire, start killing everyone, and panic ensues.

ODYSSEUS: Achilles, where are you going?

ACHILLES: *scales up the palace wall like a ninja*

- excerpted from Troy in 15 Minutes [via boingboing]

* to be honest, I haven't finished it yet.

Since 2001 here at, I've been blogging about the creative process—my own and those of people who interest me. That mostly involves filmmaking, art, writing, research, and the making thereof.

Many thanks to the Creative Capital | Warhol Foundation Arts Writers Program for supporting that time.

comments? questions? tips? pitches? email
greg [at] greg [dot ] org

find me on twitter: @gregorg

about this archive

Posts from May 2016, in reverse chronological order

Older: April 2016

recent projects, &c.

Chop Shop
curated by Magda Sawon
1-7 March 2016

eBay Test Listings
Mar – Dec 2015
about | proposte monocrome, rose

It Narratives, incl.
Shanzhai Gursky & Destroyed Richter
Franklin Street Works, Stamford
Sept 5 - Nov 9, 2014
about | link

TheRealHennessy Tweets Paintings, 2014 -

Standard Operating Procedure
about | buy now, 284pp, $15.99

CZRPYR2: The Illustrated Appendix
Canal Zone Richard Prince
YES RASTA 2:The Appeals Court
Decision, plus the Court's
Complete Illustrated Appendix (2013)
about | buy now, 142pp, $12.99

"Exhibition Space"
Mar 20 - May 8 @apexart, NYC

HELP/LESS Curated by Chris Habib
Printed Matter, NYC
Summer 2012
panel &c.

Destroyed Richter Paintings, 2012-
background | making of
"Richteriana," Postmasters Gallery, NYC

Canal Zone Richard
Selected Court Documents
from Cariou v. Prince (2011)
about | buy now, 376pp, $17.99