"Please don't publish narratives in our Home Section; we don't embroider the wallpaper in your maharani boudoir."
Or how about, "A decorator with a narrative is like a mule with a spinning wheel. no one knows how he got it, and danged if he knows how to use it."
Or wait, how about this one:
And over the desk, where a picture of Ashton Kutcher might presumably rest, hangs a work of art - an homage to Donald Baechler - by the poet and painter Rene Ricard. (Ms. Angus initially told visitors that the artist in question was Renee Richards, the tennis player, physician and celebrated graduate of sex-change surgery.)...At Kips Bay, Madame Is at Home (and pretentious, imaginary client personas by at-once un- and too-self-conscious decorators run amok) [NYT]
But I wondered why an ČtagËre in the corner had been lined with children's game boards and cocktail glasses, an arrangement that seemed to say that this family was readying itself for a visit from a 6-year-old accustomed to demanding a gimlet and a game of Candy Land.
I was worried about this family. The table in the dining room was set for dinner and a place card indicated that Lizzie Grubman had been invited.