An Open Letter To The Makers Of [Brushes/Red/Legal Pads]:

Dear Sirs and/or Mesdames:

I recently purchased [Brushes/ Red/ a stack of legal pads] after it was featured [all over the Internet and Cannes/ in every author Terry Gross has ever interviewed]. It is with great disappointment that I must write to inform you that your [iPhone app/ HD camera/ notebooks] are defective and do not perform as advertised.

It's been several days already, and still your product has not produced a [New Yorker cover/ feature film/ novel]. What gives? I even watched the instructional [YouTube animation/ director's commentary track on Che, both parts/ Booknotes with Brian Lamb on C-SPAN], and still, nothing even close.

So I am forced to return your product, and I expect a full refund in the amount of [$5/ $26,000/ since I stole them from the office, the legal pads were free] to be paypalled to me promptly. Thank you.

Greg Allen

Below: Untitled (with apologies to Olafur and his dad on that boat, William Anastasi on the subway, and Brice Marden anywhere), 2009


Since 2001 here at, I've been blogging about the creative process—my own and those of people who interest me. That mostly involves filmmaking, art, writing, research, and the making thereof.

Many thanks to the Creative Capital | Warhol Foundation Arts Writers Program for supporting that time.

comments? questions? tips? pitches? email
greg [at] greg [dot ] org

find me on twitter: @gregorg

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first published: May 29, 2009.

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