November 2, 2004
October 23, 2004
And I thought two was a trend. Manolos are breakin' out all over:
October 6, 2004
Today's Boldface Names column in the Times is a ready-to-shoot script for a Hemingwayesque short. The story: James Gandolfini, who's putting the Ernest H. in HBO, gets into character by putting the moves on...on the reporter for the New York Times. The whole thing takes place during a benefit at Elaine's.
I'd shoot this myself, but I'm still too traumatized over losing my shaving kit last week on the exact spot where this love scene takes place. Think about it.
September 16, 2004
"As for her walking barefoot, The Doctor's orders are for her to wear Uggs or tennis shoes and it's just too hot for that."
Uggs? Uggs??? You might as well bleed her to rebalance her humeurs. Mrs. Spears.
[via Defamer, who keeps track of Britney's toilet footwear so you don't have to. Unless you work for InStyle, in which case, it's your job, and what your parents shelled out $140,000 so you could go to Brown for. They must be so proud.]
August 20, 2004
INT - NYC Friday, 7:30AM
A groggy mid-30's MAN with bedhead and a 4-day growth of beard crawls into the t-shirt, khakis, and flip-flops dropped the previous night along the trail to his bed. Alternate side parking.INT - CAR
Sitting in his car, he figures, why not go to this Costco he's heard of, get those Pampers, that baby formula, maybe a rack of ribs. He crosses the 59th st bridge, drops into LIC, and pulls into the Costco parking lot. When the store finally opens (at 10) he enters, and is stopped by an ATTENDANT.ATTENDANTMembership card, sir?MANUmm, I guess I need to pick it up.ATTENDANTTo your right.
The man wanders to the membership desk and shells out more than he would have saved on his baby gear. Guess he'll be coming back here again.MEMBERSHIP DESK CLERKStep to the end of the desk for your picture.MANI need a picture? What for?CLERKIt goes on your membership card.MANI just-- Had I known, I would've gotten all dressed up.CLERKWould it be that much better?
April 20, 2004
INT - A SCRUFFY CONFERENCE ROOM, LATE AFTERNOON
One by one, the bleary-eyed IndieWIRE staffers stumble into the room, looking in vain for the bagels and coffee.
No one even looks up. Managing Editor WENDY MITCHELL, facedown on the table in a slowly expanding pool of drool, stirs briefly at the sudden noise, but doesn't move. From this position, her jacket collar separates from her neck, which turns out to be covered with fresh hickeys..
JONNY LEAHANWhere's the spread? Who the f(*& schedules a meeting this early and doesn't order breakfast?
He headnods to WENDY, who still clutches a MoMA giftbag from the night before.
BRIAN BROOKSNan da, korya!, baka-baka-shii jikan tsubushi. Hima ja nai, ore. Maa, jitsu wa hima da kedo... J.D. ASHCRAFT(wearily spitting out the punchline to an office joke gone stale) Suntory Time!
ANTHONY KAUFMANCut with the Lost in Translation, already.
BROOKSOre no daihon was saisho datta! Sofia no Tokyo Story to zenzen chigau!
KEN TABACHNICKDude, she beat you to it. It's over . She won.
Write about something else, Kahane. Move on.
November 15, 2003
EXT. SATURDAY NIGHT - WASHINGTON, DC
A WEEKENDING NEW YORKER approaches the entrance to Agua Ardiente, an "upscale," "hip tapas restaurant" on the "DC Latin circuit." He is wearing a vintage suede jacket, black cashmere turtleneck, black Prada Sport loafers with that silly little red stripe that he neverthless insists be cleaned with glycerine every time he gets them shined, and, embarassingly, the slightly weathered pair of Banana Republic khakis with the little black label carefully picked off the back that he'd been househunting in all day.
Two skinny DOORMEN, dressed all in black, brace themselves in advance of a confrontation.
Sir, I'm afraid we can't let you in with sneakers.
No, it's OK. These are loafers.
I'm sorry, sir, the policy is no sneakers.
But they're not-- they're loafers. Prada Loafers.
I got them at Harvey Nichols.
(An empty lie. But he'd rather get turned away for lying about Harvey Nick's carrying Prada than for not abiding with some obtuse provincial dress code. Besides, the man figures, it already can't get any worse than announcing your brands at the door.)
I'm sorry, sir.
You're welcome to come back without rubber-soled shoes.
So the definition of "sneakers" is rubber-soled shoes?
What about the khakis? Should I change those, too?
The khakis are fine, sir.
The man walks back to his car, contemplates the parties he's missing in New York, and heads home to rewatch Gerry, now available for rent or purchase on DVD.
September 20, 2003
Directors: If you are concerned when your writer proposes to populate your circa 2003 New York City streetscape with the following characters, please rest assured that these are not fantastical or implausible, but just the opposite. They are as real as real gets.
1) An older man in a yellowing undershirt and trousers carrying a large zither many blocks from the nearest zither repair shop or flea market.
2) A younger woman in an ever-so-slightly too-small Chanel tanktop and slacks, with large (Chanel, obviously) sunglasses on her needs-a-touchup blonde hair, Jimmy Choo shopping bags in the crook of her tanned arm, screaming into a tiny cell phone nestled gingerly between her french manicured nails and her made up face, "Well then I AM a bad dog mommy, because I still have to go to Barney's!"
A bustling Manhattan mid-day. A female EVENTS PLANNER, 30 years old, shoulder-length brown hair, Barney's Label sleeveless blouse and pantsuit, stands at a glass display counter. She shops for silkscreenable trinkets with which to reward attendees for an impending business conference. A mid-30's SALES ASSOCIATE with not-so-recently applied blonde highlights makes smalltalk as she retrieves digital clocks and desk caddies for consideration.
Do you like your job?
Wha--? Oh-- sure.
It's been so hectic lately.
What is your exact title?
(hesitant, slightly confused) I plan special events.
Ah, so you're not in actual public relations, then.
(getting up to speed, but not jumping fully into the conversation) No, I only do special events.
This one's been real tough. To get everything pulled together... And I worked through the weekend...
Oh, I know. I've had a rough few days, too.
I have breast cancer.
November 21, 2002