Category:script notes

Commercial production house Zooma Zooma is hosting The Reel Truth [Quicktime], a hi-larious, sodium pentathol-laced short film, set on the set of a commercial. My favorite scene is the one with the MBA client in it:


Accompanied by the ass-kissing PRODUCER, the suit-wearing BRAND MANAGER visits the set to consult with the DIRECTOR.

Can I look through the camera?

Of course, of course. It's a little known fact that some of the world's best cinematography is the result of input from arrogant, pinheaded business school grads like yourself.

Oh, Naturally. (pause)
I think we should go tighter. I don't really know why, or even what I'm talking about, but this is my sole creative act this year, aside from choosing the color of my minivan.

This just confirms the genius of my original idea: What if we make the business school grad the director? My brilliance dazzles even me sometimes... [via BoingBoing and this Jim Griffin]

Followup: According to AdAge, director Tim Hamilton made the short as a sequel to Truth in Advertising, for an awards show. And if you have to ask his nationality, well...

An OFFICEWORKER wearing a beige dress and a thin, cream-colored cardigan talks on a phone while she gingerly picks up yogurt and carrot sticks. A MAN with bedhead and cutoff khaki shorts stands nearby, contemplating how many Diet Cokes to buy.

...On top of that, a woman quit yesterday.


No, one you want to stay.


No, she told them yesterday, you know, gave them her two-weeks notice, and they threw a fit. Then she said, 'You know what? Just consider this my last day,' and walked out.


NO! That's how they are. And you know the worst part?

The officeworker moves toward the bagel counter, and the man decides to see how the bananas are and moves absentmindedly-looking in the same direction.



I think I'm becoming one of them.

A pair of COMMANDERS-IN-CHIEF are having problems with their PowerPoint presentations, berating an INTERN. They proceed and address the troops.

Where is MRS Company?

CARLA and JANE look around sheepishly and raise their hands.

COMMANDER Right. You will lead the all-important Operation Human Shield. Take the Burrito Guy with you.

Where is MBA Company?

Several rows of MEN in polo shirts (tastefully embroidered with the logos of their companies or Burning Tree C.C.) and Tasmanian gabardine khakis raise their hands.

Right, you are Operation Get Behind The Housewives.

Listen to a reading of this scene (mp3 via

August 11, 2002


Returning from the bathroom where he brushed his teeth using his new toothpaste, Arm & Hammer P.M. ("Fights Nighttime Mouth!"), a MAN leans over to kiss his WIFE goodnight.

Do you like my minty fresh breath?

You HAVE no breath.

June 19, 2002

In the cab this morning:

In the cab this morning: A veritable weblog full of unsolicited narration from the older, female driver.
"I been driving a cab 34 years."
"I used to race cars. I was 14."
"The tourists come to see the matinee, but they can't drive."
"I washed my car this morning, but I didn't need to. It's clean."
"My friend died. Cancer. Yesterday."
"He's a cabdriver 30 years. three sons and a grandson. He's so young."
"And he just bought a new cab last year."

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Since 2001 here at, I've been blogging about the creative process—my own and those of people who interest me. That mostly involves filmmaking, art, writing, research, and the making thereof.

Many thanks to the Creative Capital | Warhol Foundation Arts Writers Program for supporting that time.

comments? questions? tips? pitches? email
greg [at] greg [dot ] org

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about this archive

Category: script notes

recent projects, &c.

Our Guernica Cycle, 2017 –
about/kickstarter | exhibit, 2017

Social Medium:
artists writing, 2000-2015
Paper Monument, Oct. 2016
ed. by Jennifer Liese
buy, $28

Madoff Provenance Project in
'Tell Me What I Mean' at
To__Bridges__, The Bronx
11 Sept - Oct 23 2016
show | beginnings

Chop Shop
curated by Magda Sawon
1-7 March 2016

eBay Test Listings
Armory – ABMB 2015
about | proposte monocrome, rose

It Narratives, incl.
Shanzhai Gursky & Destroyed Richter
Franklin Street Works, Stamford
Sept 5 - Nov 9, 2014
about | link

TheRealHennessy Tweets Paintings, 2014 -

Standard Operating Procedure
about | buy now, 284pp, $15.99

CZRPYR2: The Illustrated Appendix
Canal Zone Richard Prince
YES RASTA 2:The Appeals Court
Decision, plus the Court's
Complete Illustrated Appendix (2013)
about | buy now, 142pp, $12.99

"Exhibition Space" @ apexart, NYC
Mar 20 - May 8, 2013
about, brochure | installation shots

HELP/LESS Curated by Chris Habib
Printed Matter, NYC
Summer 2012
panel &c.

Destroyed Richter Paintings, 2012-
background | making of
"Richteriana," Postmasters Gallery, NYC

Canal Zone Richard
Selected Court Documents
from Cariou v. Prince (2011)
about | buy now, 376pp, $17.99