Freedom Fries Are Not Enough! Get Rid Of Your Mercedes
Is this you?
Did a thorough find and replace with “French” and “Freedom” (cf. fries, toast, kiss, dip)? Yet still harbor feelings of exasperation toward those ingrates in “Old Europe,” such as:
“After all, we saved France’s butt and kicked Germany’s butt, twice, and then we rebuilt their whole countries. Marshall Plan? Hallo?? And carried and protected them for years…Cold War?? Guten tag?”
And especially, “I even bought this car from those potato-lovers, garaged it exclusively, drove it only rarely, maintained it religiously for 18 years, kept all the records for it, loved it like a member of the family, even, and this is the thanks we get?”
The car those potato-lovers sold you is an original red (not burgundy) 1985 Mercedes Benz 300D turbodiesel, 4-door (or wagon), with leather (not MBTex) interior, with 150k documented miles +/-, similar to the photo below:
Then you’re in a unique position to stick it to Old Europe and demonstrate your support for Bush’s war. Here’s what you do. Don’t sell it, that’s what Arianna’d do. Not the message you want to send. Instead, give it to me, keys, title, maintenance records and all. Just give it here. Then I’ll take it, and park it prominently in Manhattan and DC. You’ll sleep easy, knowing that your once-embarassing Mercedes is poised to be blown to smithereens in a terrorist attack, an attack that’s only a matter of time now, thanks to those Germans, who sided with the rest of the world (minus Bulgaria) to oppose Bush’s war.
[Note: If you’d like to be notified if/when your former car gets what’s coming to it, please include a self-addressed stamped postcard.]
