If I Ran The Circus, by Nick Denton

Jason Cala-who? Nick’s raising, er, lowering, er, his sights and going after Drudge. His secret weapon: the awesome pithiness of his Choire Sicha-lator, now transformed into an automatic NY Post Headline Generator.
Actually, the first day’s batch of heds sounds like Larry Levy’s first studio meeting in The Player, where he has someone read out a random story from the paper and he turns it into a one-line movie pitch on the spot:

Grossman: How about ‘Mudslide kills 60 in slums of Chile’?
Levy: That’s good. Triumph over tragedy. Sounds like a John Boorman picture. You slap a happy ending on it, the script’ll write itself.
Here, Bonnie, you give it a shot.
Bonnie: Gee, I don’t know, Larry–
Levy: Come on.
Bonnie: OK, ‘Further bond losses push Dow down 7.15.’… I see Connery as Bond…

Sploid [via, dude, where DIDN’T you see this yesterday?]