I don't need no stinkin' Metropolitan Diary

INT - NYC Friday, 7:30AM

A groggy mid-30's MAN with bedhead and a 4-day growth of beard crawls into the t-shirt, khakis, and flip-flops dropped the previous night along the trail to his bed. Alternate side parking.

Sitting in his car, he figures, why not go to this Costco he's heard of, get those Pampers, that baby formula, maybe a rack of ribs. He crosses the 59th st bridge, drops into LIC, and pulls into the Costco parking lot. When the store finally opens (at 10) he enters, and is stopped by an ATTENDANT.

ATTENDANT

Membership card, sir?

MAN

Umm, I guess I need to pick it up.

ATTENDANT

To your right.

The man wanders to the membership desk and shells out more than he would have saved on his baby gear. Guess he'll be coming back here again.

MEMBERSHIP DESK CLERK

Step to the end of the desk for your picture.

MAN

I need a picture? What for?

CLERK

It goes on your membership card.

MAN

I just-- Had I known, I would've gotten all dressed up.

CLERK

Would it be that much better?