Untitled (Faux Snakeskin), 2018

 

Untitled (Snakeskin), 2018, mixed media, 43 x 76 in., image via NYE&Co/liveauctioneers

ArtBasel is upon us. “The only question [connoisseurs are asking] these days are: ‘Is that one of the top ten works? And is that an A-plus picture?’

And here I am starting to feel about headboards-I-don’t-own-as-readymade-paintings like Dan Flavin ended up feeling about fluorescent lights: stuck.

Yes, that’s exactly what it’s like. Can you just imagine the market pressure? Demanding you to keep repeating your greatest hit, to keep churning out every iteration of the formula, to see the concept through to the bitter end, until it’s ultimately the headboard on your own deathbed, stained with your own hairgrease, that becomes your final, ghostly selfie. The hammer drops, the crowd cheers, your kids want to cash out and move your estate to Zwirner, authorizing faux-finish headboards in posthumous editions.

Damn. That got dark fast. And here I’d only planned to point out that this king-size, faux snakeskin quilted pleather number is most definitely in the top ten of the series. The top five, even. If you want it, you have until next week to let me know, at which point it’ll slip from all our grasps.

Previously, related:
Untitled (Joan Collins, Toile de Jouy), 2015
Untitled (Dubious Tommy Hilfiger Decisions), 2017