the old Blogger Directory

  • the old Blogger Directory description for greg.org is now being beamed to the whole world in Google’s search results.
  • the servers are lightning-fast, and they’ll time you out faster’n a poorly implemented Verizon webmail service.
  • I’m #11. After vanquishing that Axis of GregEvil, Supergreg, Dharma’s buddy was my personal Afghanistan. It follows, then, that Greg the (cancelled) Bunny’s my Iraq; I will thus achieve first page placement, and according to the tenets of my Greg Security Strategy, Louganis (aka my Iran) will be the next to fall. All the writer or musician Gregs will join me, or demonstrate their irrelevance (aka 21-30). Finally, the stage will be set for ArmaGregon, where Greg Allen (Mormon filmmaker) and Greg Olsen (Mormon inspirational painter) face off for Gregworld domination. As Bush said, “we know Google is not neutral between them.”
    Of course, it’s entirely possible that, after “winning” this war, I find it’s not at all the victory I had in mind. Who knows, dominating Google’s “greg” search results to become a well-regarded filmmaker may be as misguided as, say, invading Iraq to bring peace and security to the world.

    • What GoogleBlogger Means To ME

    When I rule the world, or at least the greg search on Google
  • The old Blogger Directory description I wrote for greg.org is now being beamed to the world in Google search results.
  • BloggerPro server response is lightning-fast.
  • Somehow, login timeouts are even faster, meaning you can’t write a single paragraph before getting dumped. solution: stop writing in paragraphs. Alternate solution use a weblog editor app like wbloggar instead.
  • I’m #11. Supergreg and Dharma’s Greg have both fallen quicker than an Afghan/Taliban frontline. Greg the (cancelled) Bunny, I’m comin’ for you next. You’re my own personal Iraq, and your spot on the first search result page’ll soon be mine. Greg’s Webworx, you’re my North Korea, what with all your reciprocal links and massmailings and such. Your days are numbered.
    Note to all the writer and musician Gregs clinging to 1-10 power: If you read my recently declassified Greg Security Strategy, you know I’ll let nothing stop me from being #1. The choice is yours: link to me, or make yourselves irrelevant. Drop your sites to at least 15, preferably 21-30.
    Then, the stage will be set for the great battle of ArmaGregon, the New and the Old, the future and the past: Greg Allen, Mormon filmmaker takes on Greg Olsen, Mormon inspirational painter. The prize: Gregworld domination. I remind you of Bush’s words, “Google is not neutral between them.”
    Cool. Now I have a wrong-headed war to fight, too. I only hope being Google’s #1 Greg is as grand a victory as taking over Iraq.

    • Forget Cremaster 3, I Survived Cremaster 1-5

    I survived Cremaster 3 T-shirtOK, before I talk about how seeing The Cremaster Cycle straight through changed my understanding of Matthew Barney’s work, let me get a couple of things out of the way:
    1) FLW didn’t design those theater chairs to be sat in at all, much less for eight hours in one day Aggressive, non-user-centered architecture should be taken out and shot.
    2) Best overheard comment after Cremaster 1, when a guy at a suddenly partially visible urinal complained that the mens room door was being propped open by the line: “We just spent 45 minutes in someone’s ovaries. I’m sure no one cares about seeing you take a piss.”
    3) I don’t know what country you’re from, and frankly, I don’t care. On this island, we keep our hands off the freakin’ art, especially when there are signs and guards at every piece. And if you pull the dumb foreigner shtick every time a guard tells you not to touch something, I’ll bust you again.
    3.1) I swear, between this show and the MoMA QNS opening, I may never loan anything I own to a museum again.
    3.2) What really makes me mad, is that now I’m all jingoistic, when I should just be anti-B&T. Oy, the world we live in…
    Cremaster 4 Vitrine, Matthew Barney, from Sotheby's, image:artnet.comNet net: Matthew Barney’s films are worth seeing, again, and in order. They’re the strongest expression of what he’s doing. He may call himself a sculptor, but that’s just a numbers game. He clearly exerts phenomenal time/effort/thought on materials, objects and spaces; but the experience of his sculptures pales to that of the films (and the experience of sculpture-in-film). Likewise, his drawings–which are small, precious, slight, almost invisible–get subsumed by their giant sculpted vitrines.
    An extremely useful/interesting educational aid is The Gospel Cremaster Cycle (According to Neville Wakefield), an exhaustive catalog/glossary which functions like an encyclopedia of Barney’s universe. It weighs like a hundred pounds, though, so plan be home when it ships; you don’t want to carry it back from the post office (or the Guggenheim, for that matter).
    There are a few exceptions: I found the flags and banners interesting, and some metal objects (e.g., the Masonic tools from C3) are exquisite. The mirrored saddle is in a class by itself (yeah, there are at least two, but only one’s on exhibit). [An art market side note: I don’t know, but a significant number of the C3 work is large, institution-sized, and all “courtesy Barbara Gladstone Gallery,” almost as if it’s a showroom for out-of-town curators. All that’s missing is a “to the trade only” sign in the window.]
    As for the photographs, which I’d liked best going in, most feel inexplicably lifeless compared to the films they came from. Barney can create absolutely stunning images, but they’re on film, where stunning often morphs into mesmerizing. It’s telling that while the photos reproduce very well, I could only find one image of a Barney vitrine online–from an auction report; even though they’re display cases, these non-filmic sculptures seem innoculated against reproduction.
    Cremaster 1 still, Matthew Barney, image: pbs.orgThe films hold up very well, but as film-as-art, not art-as-film. Consecutive viewing (as opposed to the in order they were made) strengthens both their thematic/narrative and their visual impact. I was surprised to realize how many elements are from Barney’s own life/world/story; it was unexpectedly personal, as opposed to issue/metaphor-driven.
    In his review, J. Hoberman says that the press screenings for the whole Cycle were sparsely attended; he (like everyone else, he concludes) prefers the ambient, less demanding mode of watching a few minutes on the gallery flatscreens. “One scarcely staggers from this six-and-a-half-hour magnum opus inclined to proclaim the second coming of David Lynch�or even Julian Schnabel,” he writes, in full “when you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail” mode.
    Cremaster 2 still, Matthew Barney, image: bienniale of sydneyWhich makes Barney’s claim to be a sculptor, not a filmmaker, relevant. He’s asserting his identity as an artist. Cremaster 2, which Hoberman slammed the hardest as a film, is one of the most haunting and beautiful works of art I’ve seen. Jeremy Blake told me Paul Thomas Anderson had asked him, “Man, why do artists have their heads so far up their asses sometimes?” “They like the smell,” Jeremy deadpanned. “But seriously, it’s introspection. Contemplation. You should try it sometime.”
    In my budding filmmaker mode, I had had some of the same complaints as Hoberman (ie., simplistic camera angles, AWOL editing), but his glib dismissal of Cremaster says more about the diminished expectations and limits of film. Sure, movie directors think they’re God, and Barney’s conjured up a complete, system of symbols and myths that’d make the Catholic Church proud. Whether that means he thinks he’s God, Jesus, or the Pope, I can’t say, but at least he isn’t the second coming of Julian Schnabel.

    It’s Cremaster Friday, Demonlover Saturday

    I’m watching the entire Cremaster Cycle today, a Friday feature of the Guggenheim show. In the mean time, Matthew Barney’s site, Cremaster.net, is up and running. Check out the trailer; it’s beautiful. And it doesn’t take all day (unless you’re on a dialup).
    In the mean time, brace yourself and go see Olivier Assayas’ Demonlover tomorrow at Lincoln Center’s Rendez-Vous with French Cinema series (or, if you insist, Rendez-vous with Freedom Cinema series. Assayas will be at the screeningNow who’s all PC?) Read about it in Film Comment, where Gavin Smith saw it at Cannes. Smith called it the best undistributed film of 2002. Assayas’ll be there. Order tickets online, if you can. Yesterday’s screening sold out++. Assayas was there yesterday, too, and we talked a bit about collaborating with anime studios, CG’ers, and Sonic Youth.

    But What About “Canadian,” You Ask?

    Subject: Poisonous insults. They’re used both to signal to your own ideological troops or to tar your critics with an invidious brush. If you can tell me what the hierarchy of venom, let me know. (Whatever the ranking, I think the whole world needs to take a freakin’ time out, or their mothers will be called.) Here are some options:

  • “Zionist neoconservative cabal” [Pat Buchanan, in the American Conservative, via robot wisdom] *
  • “Jewish leaders” [Rep. James Moran of Va., via Slate] *
  • “Anti-semitic” [Pat again. What the neocons call critics of its Israel-positive positions. cf., to Mickey Kaus] *
  • “Terrorist” [what Richard Perle called Seymour Hersh for busting him on his blatant conflict of interest dealings with Adnan Khashoggi )
  • “Communist” [Hersh’s retort, given at Harvard: “Forty years ago I would have been called a Communist…”
  • “Jew” [ibid., “…and 70 years ago I would have been called a Jew…”]
  • “French” [I think this has been covered enough. Ditto, “American.”]
  • “Canadian” [I think I have covered this enough**.]
    * Nick Denton has been writing more about this (pretty serious, considering weblogs apparently “are not media“).
    ** One summer, Katie, a girl at college with me, worked at Nordstrom in DC. She said at that store, the salespeople used “Canadian” in place of “Jew,” (specifically, “Potomac Jew”) so that they could “make fun of ‘them'” without getting in trouble. So. Whether we’re repeating 1991, 1941, or 1914, it’s a cold freakin’ bucket of water in the face of anyone who thinks we’ve made any progress as human beings in the last 100 years…

    • On Remembering Or Repeating History

    Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Sarajevo, image: bbc.co.ukHistory shows that a war which follows on the heels of a Serbian assassination doesn’t go well for anyone involved.
    As I’ve written before, one reason I chose a WWI battlefield as an object of my first film, Souvenir (November 2001), was because it had been “forgotten.” Practically speaking, there is no one left alive who has direct experience or memory of WWI in general and the Battle of the Somme in particular. At best, it’s taught, analyzed, considered, memorialized, but it is not remembered.
    Generally, in the US, if WWI’s known at all, it’s as dim, dusty, unfortunate history, where “history” translates as “has nothing to do with what’s going on right now.” In this absence of memory, attempts to liken the current political/military situation to WWI are countered with pious promises to “never let such a horror happen again.” But those promises are almost never accompanied by an understanding of why or how WWI unfolded, or even what such a horror actually comprised.
    Thiepval Memorial, image:firstworldwar.comSuch benign ignorance afflicts the New Yorker protagonist in S(N01), whose “search” for The Memorial to The Missing at Thiepval is driven by his own involvement in the “most horrible violence ever.” He ambles in a naive daze across the modern era’s first “most horrible violence ever,” and finds not just one memorial, but hundreds: countless markers and cemeteries; fields still yielding up remains; razed and rebuilt towns; and rare, preserved sections of battlefied What’s more, though, as he drives his German car across France, he finds people–French locals and British caretakers–who show the 80-years-on effects of the war, which–they’re painfully aware–are nigh-unbearable, even when your side “wins.” They also show the New Yorker a welcoming-but-pained sympathy, as if he’s rushed home with bad news, only to find a passel of neighbors and friends waiting to tell him something even worse.
    Lochnagar Crater, image:firstworldwar.comLutyens’ Memorial to The Missing of The Somme is powerful; visiting can be an overwhelming experience. But its power pales in comparison to the concerted efforts to teach about WWI that take place in every school in the UK. The Lochnagar Crater now sits alone as a souvenir in the landscape, a scar that–according to those who visit it or live around it–still aches, recalling them of old wounds. But its influence pales compared to the effect of a lifetime where every errand you run in your entirely-post-war village takes you past half a dozen cemeteries, and where, spring after spring, you turn up mortars and rotted boots when you plant your flowers.
    When I made S(N01) exactly a year ago, I was nervous about drawing false parallels between the attacks on New York and an “actual” war. Tragedy was tragedy, loss was loss, but a terrorist attack was not The Somme. 2001 wasn’t 1914, I mean, how could it be, when the civilized world was united? I expected the need for S(N01)‘s solace would pass: we’d learn to deal with the loss of September 11th, and move gingerly toward a safer, more peaceful future. The movie’d become a time capsule, a sad-but-nostalgic reminder of the moments of our resolve. Instead, I wonder if I’ve unintentionally remade someone’s film, Souvenir (July 1914).

    Freedom Fries Are Not Enough! Get Rid Of Your Mercedes

    Is this you?

  • Did a thorough find and replace with “French” and “Freedom” (cf. fries, toast, kiss, dip)? Yet still harbor feelings of exasperation toward those ingrates in “Old Europe,” such as:
  • “After all, we saved France’s butt and kicked Germany’s butt, twice, and then we rebuilt their whole countries. Marshall Plan? Hallo?? And carried and protected them for years…Cold War?? Guten tag?”
  • And especially, “I even bought this car from those potato-lovers, garaged it exclusively, drove it only rarely, maintained it religiously for 18 years, kept all the records for it, loved it like a member of the family, even, and this is the thanks we get?”
  • The car those potato-lovers sold you is an original red (not burgundy) 1985 Mercedes Benz 300D turbodiesel, 4-door (or wagon), with leather (not MBTex) interior, with 150k documented miles +/-, similar to the photo below:
    For reference only. This is an earlier 240D. For your protest to be effective, you must have a 1985 300D. image: sveinn

    Then you’re in a unique position to stick it to Old Europe and demonstrate your support for Bush’s war. Here’s what you do. Don’t sell it, that’s what Arianna’d do. Not the message you want to send. Instead, give it to me, keys, title, maintenance records and all. Just give it here. Then I’ll take it, and park it prominently in Manhattan and DC. You’ll sleep easy, knowing that your once-embarassing Mercedes is poised to be blown to smithereens in a terrorist attack, an attack that’s only a matter of time now, thanks to those Germans, who sided with the rest of the world (minus Bulgaria) to oppose Bush’s war.
    [Note: If you’d like to be notified if/when your former car gets what’s coming to it, please include a self-addressed stamped postcard.]

    • On Bar Codes And Profiling

    Creating an army of shopping clones, one Safeway Club Card at a time, image: cockeyed.comA NYT article about Cockeyed‘s great barcode hack, written by David F. Gallagher (the Lightning Field one, not the shirtless one. “F.” must stand for “fully clothed.” David, you have my sympathies. At least you’re going up against a real person. I’m still being out-Googled by an ad-agency caricature, an off-the-air bunny puppet, and a friend of Dharma, two if you count Greg Louganis.)
    Rob Cockerham is distributing clones of his Safeway card online, thereby commenting on/thwarting the supermarket’s tracking him and and “his” purchases (which “he” now makes in stores all over the country, as far as Safeway knows, anyway).
    Interesting that this article appears in the Times. Whenever I’m traveling and airdrop into a netcafe, or login to nytimes.com from someone else’s computer, I’ve always saved my login info on that machine. Over the years, I’ve wondered what the Times thought of my appearing in dozens of places at once. (They had enough, I guess; a few months ago, they started expiring their cookies after 30 days.)
    Other barcode links: Peter Coffin’s Free Biennial art project, Scott Blake’s Barcode Art site [both via Wooster Collective] And in the view of many End Time pundits, barcodes are the “mark of the beast.” Left Behind’s 8th book was called The Mark, as this Australian

    Deepak Chopra Must Have A New Publicist

    And they’re hitting for the fence. For years, silence. He’s over, you think. Like oxygen bars and impeachment hearings. Then in 24 hours, BAM! three completely different press mentions. Can you find the level of Deepak’s room?

  • Hm. Nice grouping. “Deepak Chopra proposed Wednesday that the Pope, the Dalai Lama and himself serve as human shields to avoid bombing in Iraq and to rid the world of Saddam Hussein.” [GoMemphis, via BoingBoing]
  • Aladdin, ambassador of peace. Just a minute ago on the CBC’s As It Happens, they mentioned Chopra’s proposal to build a Disney theme park in the Middle East, to “help the children relax and understand Western Culture.”
  • “Gina de Franco, who organized the [Quest Magazine Mardi Gras] festivities [at Man Ray], wore tropical flowers in her hair and Halston couture. She chatted over dinner with Deepak Chopra about his four new book launches for 2003.” Ahh, four book launches. Now I get it. [See “downtown diva” Deepak en masque at NY Social Diary. via the estimable Gawker]

    • …And I Feel Fine (Except For This Gnawing Sense Of Dread)

    Yes, I was glad to see you, and that was a Bible in my pocket. As I tee up to write what appears below, I just realized my schedule yesterday (aka the Sabbath)–church in the morning to the Armory Show (similarities to Gilligan’s Island: began as 3-hour tour, saves self with pleasantly endless supply of special guest stars) to a friend’s dinner for a visiting artist–and my increasing revulsion at politicians’ Christian justification for war, left me toting the Good (but not tiny) Book around all day, and unselfconsciously reading on the train about “blessed are the peacemakers,” “wars and rumours of wars,” and the end of the world as we know it.
    I remember being advised, soon after moving to NYC in 1990, that reading the NY Times or the WSJ on the train was a surefire invitation to be mugged. And The Wall St. Journal? Forget about it. The only way to protect yourself, I was told, is to be a less attractive target than other passengers: you can either talk loudly to yourself (i.e., act insane, and thus, unpredictable, possibly dangerous, not worth the hassle) or read the Bible. It’s the pickpocketing equivalent of The Club, self-centered public religiosity that really says, “mug my neighbor.” What would Jesus do, indeed.
    WWJD? How about WWGWBD? Bob Woodward in Hendrik Hertzberg‘s New Yorker commentary: “‘[Bush’s] instincts are almost his second religion.’ And if the commandment of his first religion is peace, that of his second, it seems clearer than ever, is war.” Not so fast. Bush’s flavor of Christianity has little to do with the Bible (King James Study Bible , Amazon sales rank: 3,598), and everything to do with Left Behind (Armageddon: The Cosmic Battle of the Ages vol. 11, Amazon sales rank: 67).
    With over 50 million copies in print, the Left Behind series is the Harry Potter of the Apocalypse, (If God doesn’t call the authors home soon, there’ll be 12 books total; never seen onr on the subway, though). It the end of the world as its authors (Tim Lahaye and Jerry Jenkins, evangelical ministers/ex-political aides/anointers of John Ashcroft) know it. After millions of True Believers are suddenly caught up in The Rapture, the world stops slouching toward Gomorrah and starts lurching toward Armageddon. Plagues and war ravage the unbelieving earth. After a feckless Democratic president sells the US out to international organizations (it’s not one of heaven’s mysteries that the series began during Clinton’s tenure), the Anti-Christ steps in, seduces shocked citizens with pleas of global tolerance, uses the UN to establish world government, and settles down to rule and reign. From Bahghdad. Oh, and before the world ends, Israel gets all the land it wants. Oh, and the Jews convert to Christianity, etc. etc.
    Articles appeared last year (in Salon and the Guardian, for example) after Left Behind took over the NYTimes bestseller list, causing lamentation in the mainstream publishing houses, and Infidels.org (you have been warned) got ready for Y2K with a veritable Baskin-Robbins (31+ flavors) of End Time culture. But as Zachary Karabell writes in last week’s LA Times, “The response of some in the U.S. government to the crises of the last year and a half feels ripped from the pages of the Left Behind books.” If Bush were a straphanger, he’d be doubled down, flaunting the Bible and acting insane, thinking he’s safe (yet somehow unaware that all the other passengers are nervously switching cars).
    Frankly, Left Behind strikes me as gratuitous vengeance porn, designed to feed the smugness and self-satisfaction of “Christian” readers, who want to have their cake (their own seat on the Rapture train) and eat it, too (the details of their critics’ impending, gruesome suffering). Is Bush taking his war script from the Gospel according to Left Behind? Is he gonna have a lot more to answer for than he thinks? Is the Pope Catholic?

    On Other Issues, Less Pressing, Perhaps

    Boogie Nights promo photo, image: ptanerson.com
    image: ptanderson.com

  • If my mother ever gets around to seeing Boogie Nights, and asks me if she should listen to the DVD commentary tracks, I’d be obliged to warn her that, even though they’re informative and fun, Paul Thomas Anderson swears quite a bit. Of course, the probability that she’ll ask about such a film (her dealbreakers: the whole pr0n thing, Burt Reynolds) is roughly zero. For the rest of you, though, start clicking on that Amazon link. [There are moments where PTA pulls a Bingham on a drunk-and-trying-to-flee-the DAT Mark Wahlberg, asking him to “tell me that story where you…” and proceeds to tell the story. Credit where it’s due: Bingham occasionally pulled a PTA.]
  • To replicate today’s Amazon delivery perfectly, add Krzysztof Kieslowski’s trilogy, Blue, White, and Red, which was just re-released last week as a boxed set. [I bought mine from Jason Kottke’s Movie Hut.]
  • The problem with Pringles: you keep eating them, even though there are technically six servings in a cannister. More a way to deal than a solution: the last 2.5 servings are just hard enough to get out of the can, logistics eventually overtakes lack of will.

    • Other Noteworthy Events (From Different

    Other Noteworthy Events (From Different Ends Of The Creative Spectrum)
    From the LA Times, Mark Swed’s rather lyrical article about “See Here, A Colloquium on Attention and the Arts,” held at Pomona College. Alumnus James Turrell and others spoke, and works by once-attention-trying composers like Anton Webern were played. [via Peter Johnstone’s Revelator.org]
    Something I never thought I’d see – a broadcast version of Paul Verhoeven‘s classic, Showgirls, the first NC-17 film released by a major studio. I kid you not, it’s on VH-1 right now, complete with thoroughly dubbed dialogue and low-budget, digitally inserted bikini tops in the scenes they just couldn’t cut out. [Or settle for the original on DVD.]
    What VH-1 should do, is Showgirls: Behind the Music. Space Ghost up some clips from Saved by the Bell, throw in some childhood home-style footage, and interviews with former classmates, and explain to me why Nomi’s so angry.

    Big Art Events (Now and

    Big Art Events (Now and Upcoming)

    Boiling study, Ricci Albenda, at Momenta's silent auction 3/15, courtesy Andrew Kreps Gallery
    Untitled (Boiling Study), 2002, Ricci Albenda, at Momenta Art’s Benefit Auction 3/15

    Now
    The Armory Show (through Sunday)
    –Scope Art Fair (through Sunday, including Bill Previdi’s always-interesting collector panel Saturday afternoon)
    Upcoming (Saturday, March 15)
    Momenta Benefit Auction and Art Raffle, at White Columns, bid on/buy some great art and support the program of a pioneering Williamsburg gallery.

    You Are So (Colorful, Devalued, Looks Like Monopoly) Money

    Vince Vaughn, image: ecalos.com
    Vince Vaughn, US Marshall (Plan evangelist) image: ecalos.com

    My dad is in town for a meeting, and he brought his free USA Today down Via IP: This USAT article about Americans abroad feeling burned by Bush’s wildly unpopular unilateralist “megalomania.” The punchline stars Vince Vaughn:

    But one incident really stung.
    “Man, it was bad,” says the Rat Pack-y star of Swingers. “These girls saw us and were kind of flirting, and they kept asking us if we were American. Finally we said, ‘Yes,’ and they just took off.
    “One girl turns and says, ‘We were hoping you were Canadian.’ Canadian? Since when was it cooler to be Canadian?”

    Welcome to the New World Order, baby.