Often Transcending Gimmickry

I did something yesterday on the train I never do anymore: I read a print copy of the newspaper. I was reminded how, by scanning the page, I used to discover articles about fascinating new things, insights, or perspectives, things that I never would have taken the effort to click through on. Not that anything like that happened to me, of course; since what I picked up from the seat next to me was the Style section of the Washington Post.
In the absence of many facts, Robin Givhan, the Post’s Woman In Paris, threw her analytical hat into the ring, attempting to put fashion shows by Miu Miu, McQueen, and Theyskens into context for readers with an actively hostile, anti-fashion fashion sense:

Prada excels in merging creativity and logic, a rare ability in the fashion industry. The most exuberantly imaginative designers are often the least reasonable. They don’t care if a woman can’t sit in a dress as long as those giant mirrored discs on her rear end look “fierce.”

At Hermes on Saturday, the collection from Jean Paul Gaultier emerged as a blur of luxurious materials: crocodile, cashmere, glove leather. The theme was biker chic, but it really could have been anything at all so long as the house’s handbags — Birkins and Kellys — were prominently featured. The ready-to-wear at Hermes serves as a mise-en-scene for the handbags. The clothes are beautiful but not especially memorable. They don’t define an Hermes ready-to-wear aesthetic; they simply imply wealth.
Contrast that with the ready-to-wear collection at Louis Vuitton. It, too, is a brand defined by its handbags. But while Hermes bags are about longevity and the idea that a woman might pass one down to her daughter, the Louis Vuitton brand is focused on trends. It is an absurdly expensive disposable fashion.
The clothes at Vuitton are fashion-conscious. A wearer may not necessarily feel rich, but she’ll feel hip. They are unveiled with blaring fanfare. The grandeur of the show is in marked contrast with the availability of the collection, which is generally limited to flagship Vuitton boutiques. But the point is not to sell the clothes, but to sell Louis Vuitton as a fashion brand. Subliminal message: Go buy a bag. Or two. Or five.

And even so, Miuccia got off better than John Cage. Here’s a review of a recent all-Cage concert at the National Gallery:

Cage’s work often transcends gimmickry through unmistakably musical rhythmic drive highlighted by prominent percussion. The dancelike “Amores” came across as ideal music for a love scene. Percussionists Thomas Jones, William Richards and guest Michael Zell drummed softly with their hands and effectively conveyed a gentle but vital intimacy. They brought virility to the jungle sounds of “Third Construction,” using cowbells and conches with equal abandon.
“Nocturne” featured poignant performances by Johnson and violinist Lina Bahn.
Throughout, the Contemporary Music Forum displayed uncommon scope and sensitivity and brought out the best of an important and still underappreciated composer.

Sent Back To The Manufacturer

Something noticed last week: No, Warranties are not “boring,” Princess. When I went to buy my new coffee grinder recently, I was comparing two grinders, different brands, similar prices, and I wanted to see the warrantee information, right? This is the logical next step, it’s smart shopping, it’s informed consumption. Style is somewhat important, function-wise they are all about the same, color’s rather limited, but the consumer-report-ish side of things, that’s what guides this smart shopper. Until I realize–and have to chuckle–I no longer have to bother myself about warranties because any product warrantee I find is going to last longer than I do. Shit. If a salesperson starts to explain service protection plans, Apple Care, x-years and just-so-many miles to go, I no longer pay any attention. Back in the grocery store, I shake my head at this, and then grab the grinder in the color I like best and get the hell out.

So on the phone, my mom goes, “Oh, did you know Scott Swaner?” “Yeah.” “Dead. Pancreatic cancer. 38.” Of course, I knew his age. We were punks in high school together. Slamming to Black Flag and Madness punks, not “move your Honda, punk!” punks, that is. Being smart was not really an attribute highly prized among our beer bonging, basement concert-going SLC Punk contingent, so Scott–and to a lesser extent, I–toned it down a bit, but you could always tell his synapses were firing a hundred times faster than anyone else’s, so it shouldn’t have surprised me to hear he got his PhD from Harvard in Korean literature and was a star professor and a poet.
No, what surprises me, even though I’ve had a front row seat to the rough, short pancreatic ride, is the utter lack of surprise, just the opposite. Yes, it’s extremely disconcerting that cancer took someone I went to school with, a friend, even [though it was really just temporary, situational friendship, like, you know, prison, only our prison was just the same excruciatingly conservative, affluent high school, and instead of orange jumpsuits, we wore torn, white t-shirts–and Polo].
Pancreatic cancer is its own thing; it rarely, if ever, leaves you guessing about the outcome, and yet it usually gives you a finite, yet manageable window–some months, a year, maybe–in which to wrap things up. The kind of stuff you’d call “living,” if only living were actually Living instead of the cheap substitute we too often put up with. It’s like a whole life in microcosm. That whole “live every day as if it were your last” thing. In fact, if it weren’t for the never-ending pain, sounds like a great way to all-but guarantee the conscientious human a guilt- and regret-free exit strategy. [OK, not at 38.]
Scott began keeping a blog of his final act. I’m only a couple of months in so far, and it’s fascinating and confounding mechanism for getting to know someone again whom I haven’t known or seen for 25 years. I’d say I felt like an interloper, but his writing makes it clear that he’s very aware of his different audiences–his exasperatingly Mormon family, friends and students from his life out of Utah–and his comments about comment volume and hit rates, and referrer logs now strike me as hilarious. [Pretend you have six months to live. Do you a) finish your book of poems, or b) refresh your stats one more time?] Until I imagine the reality and comfort that connectivity and communication could be in a situation like that.
Scott’s writing is ascerbic–the dude’s idea of consolation is to quote Gravity’s Rainbow?–and it has a bit of the impatient, maybe-anger I remember, but it’s also very heartfelt. Though he tries to stay true to his belief system–though to his parents’ regret, no doubt, he traded in Joseph Smith, et al for Bataille–it sounds clear to me that there are no hermeneuticists in foxholes, at least not in this one. Scott read and wrote poetry and literature for its ability to bare and touch the human soul, even if he tried to stay skeptical of their existence. I kind of wish we’d kept in touch.
Do Not Go Gentle — Poetry & Cancer, Life & Death [blogspot]
Scott H. Swaner [sltrib.com]

Q: Black MacBook vs. MacBook Pro?

A question to Mac heads out there: I’m thinking of getting a new machine, and I want to hear how/what people have decided: I want a new laptop, that will run Final Cut Pro, obviously, but that’s easy and portable enough to take on the plane and train regularly.
I can’t decide between the 13″ black MacBook and the 15″ MacBook Pro.[1] On paper, the performance seems nearly identical, as if it’s only the screen size that differs. Frankly, I don’t feel like such a size queen that I have to have the bigger screen, but is the 13″ really just too small to run FCP effectively? What about combining it with a bigger monitor at home?
And now the real question: does the MacBook scream “cheap,” while the black MacBook screams “I paid $150 to look like a Thinkpad, but I won’t pay $400 for a much better computer!” Or does the MacBook Pro scream “I’ll buy anything Jobs tells me too, the bigger the better!”
John Hodgman is proving to be of little help on this matter.
[1] The white MacBook seems cheap to me, and a little girly [pace everyone], and the 17″ Pro just seems unwieldly. So, like an SAT question, you can eliminate A and D immediately.

“Take My Wife, John Cage, Please”

I was just working with a John Cage recording on in the background which included his reading of excerpts from his journals. It included Cage telling this story, and it made me want to see what “going out of Holland backwards” meant, so I Googled it.
I still don’t know what it means, but when Cage told the story, he was the smoker, and instead of “wife,” he said “Merce Cunningham”:

In 1959 my wife and I toured Northern France and the Low Countries by traveling the intricate inland waterways – the canals that pervade this part of Europe. As we were leaving Belgium and entering The Netherlands, the fog became so thick that instead of our barge docking at a customs station, to expedite matters, customs officials came aboard the barge.
The passengers formed into several lines, and one by one were questioned. My wife was in one line and I in another. My wife was a smoker and I was not. However, I was taking five cartons of cigarettes into Northern Europe for her, and she had that number herself.
We were traveling through Holland to Luxembourg, and back through Belgium to France. The customs of all those countries varied with regard to cigarettes, For instance, you could at that time take five cartons per person into Belgium, but only two per person into Holland.
When I got to my customs officer, all of this was clear to both of us. Out of the goodness of his heart, he was reluctant to deprive me of my three extra cartons or to charge the heavy duty on them, but he found it difficult to find an excuse for letting me off.
Finally, he said, “Are you going to go out of Holland backwards?”
I said, “Yes.”
He was overjoyed. Then he said, “You can keep all the cigarettes. Have a good trip.”
I left the line and noticed that my wife had just reached her customs officer and was having some trouble about the extra cartons. So I went over and told the officer that my wife was going out of Holland backwards. He was delighted, saying, “Oh, in that case there’s no problem at all.”

Non Sequitars [sp] [rememory.com]
John Cage Featured on KPFA’s Ode To Gravity Series (December 12, 1987) [archive.org]

Does Spelling Count?

interview_pop_cult.jpg

Speaking of the 80’s, that was the last time I remember cracking open a copy of Interview Magazine. Judging from the excruciatingly tired art and pop culture names peppering this quiz given to prospective Interview employees, I guess I haven’t missed anything.
Plus, they spelled Philip Taafe, Polly Mellen, Sofia Coppola, and Steven Hawkin wrong.
Interview Pop Culture Test [tsg via gawker]

The In ‘N Out Mobile

in-n-out-mobile-apeindex.jpg

Inspired by Jason’s recent cross-country burger-thon, I’m in the middle of a back-to-back In ‘N Out/Shake Shack smackdown attack myself. [Tomorrow’s the ‘Shack.]
What would make the taste test a lot easier: an In ‘N Out Mobile Unit. Whaddya know, there is such a thing, and it was spotted last week among the other vehicular rarities at the 2006 Banks Gearhead Invitational car show. Stunning. I’m no Mister Hoopty, but I consider myself a car nut, and yet I’d never heard of such a ride.
I confess, I’m already leery of the test, though; at two visits in Las Vegas, the In ‘N Out fries were a lot spongier and less flavorful than I remembered. And even if they would drive this far, the In ‘N Out Mobile would be of no help; they don’t serve fries, only chips. Very strange.
Image: 2006 Banks Gearhead Invitational [postive ape index via hooptyrides]
“The “Minimum Charge” of $2,350.00 entitles you to 2 hours of service time”: In ‘N Out Burger Mobile Unit Agreement [pdf, in-n-out.com]
Shake Shack vs In ‘N Out Smackdown [kottke]

Waiting For Guffman Corbin Bernsen

Red Paper Clip Day could become an annual party, with residents encouraged to wear red paper clips as a Town symbol. The Town is in the process of designing a new logo which is to include a red paper clip.

– from The Citizen, Kipling, Saskatchewan, Canada, 06/30/06
Kyle MacDonald trades a role in snowglobe megacollector Corbin Bernsen’s next film to the town of Kipling.

One facet of the plan is to conduct auditions in Kipling for the part, perhaps as early as September.
MacDonald said he has discussed the idea with Bernsen, who has indicated great interest in the concept. MacDonald even hinted that the movie star and his family might become involved in the auditions and accompanying celebrations in some capacity.
“This is going to launch a cascading series of media events that will turn (yours and my) lives upside down,” MacDonald predicted to Roach.

one red paperclip [via waxy]
In other Kipling news, Kennedy-Langbank School had their Junior Drama Night on June 27. Coincidence?

Polygamist Slang, &c.

The Primer was compiled by the Utah State Attorney General as a resource for state agency personnel who deal with polygamist groups and individuals. It details the known polygamist groups in and around Utah and Arizona and provides background on the particulars of their beliefs, culture, practices, and terminology.
Most of my family’s been Mormon for generations, and I have polygamist ancestors along many branches of my family tree, but in the modern Mormon culture, polygamy has been treated almost entirely as a long-past historical oddity. People who practice it today are not considered to have any relationship or relevance at all to the LDS Church, even though they often see things otherwise. And even though their culture and beliefs are almost always a derivative of mainstream Mormonism.
The result is, I have never heard or seen any of this stuff–except for one word, “polyg”–even if some of the religious terminology is familar, it usually means something different [and it’s different between and even within contemporary polygamist communities.
Anyway, here is some polygamy-related slang:

  • Bleeding the Beast: An expression used by some fundamentalists as a rationale for accepting assistance (i.e., financial grants, WIC, TANF, food stamps, housing, medical assistance, etc.) from governmental agencies that may otherwise not be trusted. Occasionally, the same term may be used to justify abuse or exploitation of such systems. Within certain groups it is taught that “bleeding the beast” will assist God in destroying the “evil” U.S. government and is considered a righteous endeavor.
  • Creekers: Members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (FLDS) who live in Colorado City, AZ, and Hildale, UT are often called “Creekers.” The nickname “Creekers” began when this area was called Short Creek.
  • “Keep Sweet”: An admonition to be compliant and pleasant despite the circumstances.
  • Plyg (or Polyg): A highly offensive and demeaning term for those who practice polygamy. Care providers should be aware that this term is never acceptable and would hinder efforts to provide help.
  • Poofers: A slang term for girls who suddenly disappear from their community in order to take part in an arranged marriage. The girls are either kept hidden or moved to another state or country. This is most often used by the FLDS Church.
  • Second Ward or 2nd Warder: A derogatory slang term for families who left Hildale, Utah, and Colorado City, Arizona in the 1980’s to start their own community in Centennial Park. However, members of the Centennial Park community do not like this term because it suggests an association between the two groups. Members of the FLDS church in Hildale/Colorado City are also called “First-Warders.” [congregations in the mainstream LDS church are also called ‘wards,’ btw. -g.o]
    The Primer — Helping Victims of Domestic Violence and Child Abuse in Polygamous Communities [pdf, attorneygeneral.utah.gov via deseret news]

  • Marc Jacobs Kimono

    marc_jacobs_yukata.jpg
    Of course, it’s actually called a yukata, and it’s for wearing on summer evenings or hot days.
    And of course, it’s actually Marc by Marc Jacobs, the bridge line, but still. It is the only authentic Marc Jacobs logo kimono on the market right now. Women’s sizes only, I’m afraid.
    Marc Jacobs yukata, 48,300 yen [marcjacobs.jp via jeansnow]

    Letters! We Get Letters!

    Dear Representatives of,
    I visited you site as was interested in film “Black Book’s riotous Inside the Actor Love/Hate Studio session…” by Screenwriter Paul Thomas Anderson. I was very surprised and disillusioned to find out the link to the cigarettes web-store ptanderson.com on the page as I’m a non-smoker.
    This whole situation is disappointing because the subject of this film is against smoking.
    That’s why I kindly ask you to remove this link from your site! With
    hope for your cooperation and understanding to this matter!
    Best regards,

    Sure enough, the URL for what I once called “the blow-away best ‘unofficial’ filmmaker fansite around”, Cigarettes & Coffee, [after his first short], has been taken over by a cigarette retailer.
    Perhaps there was a trademark dispute with Mr Anderson, or perhaps the bigtime studio lawyers behind Jim Jarmusch’s Coffee & Cigarettes muscled them into changing it. You know what a Hollywood monkey Jarmusch is.
    In any case, the fansite is now called Cigarettes & Red Vines, and can be found at cigarettesandredvines.com. Can’t imagine any trademark problems with that one.
    PTAnderson.com is now Cigarettesandredvines.com. Please adjust your links accordingly. Thank you.